My name is Erick and i say i don't know a lot because i really don't know anymore, i am always confused and way too sad. To be honest or ... kinda honest i can tell you that i think i make myself sad; why would i do this i ask myself this same thing everyday and well i came to the conclusion that i do it because it's my way of scaping to loneliness... i know i am not alone i just feel lonely.
I don't know what i'm talking about it's stupid i only find myself rambling everyday over and over again. Thinking about stupid stuff that i am the only one that thinks about them.
Example: Everyday i get out of the shower i feel as if the door is going to shut down and cut my head... stupid i don't know but i picture that everyday, everyday i take a shower i am i don't know.
On the other hand i put on a shirt that i haven't worn... it was brand new and i never wore it bcuz it was a size small and i didn't fit in it so i put it on and i fit in... but as usual my fat was there i never look good i always look bad in everything my fat is just everywhere, my belly my fat woman boobs my fat everything just everything. And to the top of that mom told me : let me see how it looks on you and i told her i didn't want to show bcuz i didnt feel comfortable so she made a big deal about it and ended up unzipping my hoodie so she could see my shirt and i automatically bent for my fatness to hide and then she screams " why do you do that!? your fat is there anyway"... i told her not to touch me again and left the room.
And now i am here writing this feeling like shit and feeling miserable because i am such a fat waste.
I have to go to work.I haven't eaten today and i won't eat today i am just too sad. I feel too bad.
I am sorry.
